are you still at the devil's house?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
