I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
