He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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