Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
