You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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