turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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