I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
