If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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