I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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