Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
