It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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