so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
