I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
