i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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