there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
