Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
