okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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