You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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