she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize