she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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