i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
