her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
