dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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