It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
