Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
