im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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