Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
