I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
