i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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