Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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