that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
