just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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