if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
