yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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