Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
