its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
