wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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