I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
