just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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