remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
