I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
