She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You pole danced in your parka.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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