ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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