She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
either way he was missing a nipple.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
