i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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