I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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