i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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