got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
