halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
