Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
