Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
