yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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