This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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