so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
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