I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
