We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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