So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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