Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize